Tuesday, April 5, 2011

i never waas a hero

all i wanted to do is b a hero all i eva wondered n life was y is der so much pain n da world wen i was younger i thought i cud change it i was so sesitve i cried wen i saw fights becuse i wonder y dey wud wanna hurt sumbdy n y dey was so mean to each other now dat im 18 i still dnt kw y i never can get dat mad even if i wanted to i always cryed wen sumone screamed at me it hurt me ive been called a crybaby i jus was sad cus i had to witness all da hate n pain da world plp told me der story n i cried bcause i saw n felt der pain dey held n side i jus wanted to reach nto der soul n take all da pain away n i kw if u take all da pain sumwere it will have to go sumwere i wu take it all i will suffer wit it nside me jus to see everybody happy n ive noticed dat dat sounds like sumone i kw n dats Jesus he's already done wat ive ben tryna do my whole life n dats b a hero to everyone n anyone dat had pain nside dem but i noticed dat i dnt have dat kind of power all i eva wated to see happyness bet u like how cud sumbdy b so sensitive how cud sumbdy not wen i love sumbdy i love hard n wit all i got i never hold back so now i see myself wishin i cud play God im not a hero i jus wish i was i wish i cud take all da pain 4m da world away but never will i ever have dat power i bared dis cross 4 so long n its heavy im ready to let it go never will i ever b a hero myb jus mayb i learn to pray n give thanx to da reall hero i jus want da pain of and n da world to end!!!

loner

i was never afraid to stand alone i was always the loner but its kinda funny cus i hate ben a lonely and i always find my self alone wit jus me and my thought talkin to my self ahtein mysef then turnin around n lovein myself cus who else will i stayed to my self cus i loved my self and i never wanted to change for any body till i got lonely den i tried bein like her cus she had so many friends an it looked like they were havein a good tme i wanted dat but i stood alone cus i hate how everyone was the same but bme wantein to be myself i always found myself alone cus no one understood i jus wanted to saty tru to my self so i stood thir all alone with my head held hi and a smile on my face silently because i had nothing to say tho i had much to say plp wud not like me cus wat i had to say tho im not the typ that worry bout wat plp say more so how they say it or y or wat hey do cus they were so crul i looked around n thought i fukin ruled indeed cus i loved me i started to grow and found out most of the reasons y i stood solo was cus i didnt wanna get hurt becus i was like no other n i wasnt finna change for anyone but i found myself changein for eery one cus i was tierd of bein alone ..but i was born alone i shall die alone i kinda wanted to make a statement a statement that says plp will still love u if ur tru to ur self and love ur self and i have yet to prove dat because im alone and standin alone n so unloved ....pretty gurl with a potty mouth heart that keeps getin broken but for sum stupid as reason still loves....not the brightest but will light up the room and make eeryone smile or is it that im jus phycin myself out hell idk gotta lotta shit to learn n yes ima leave dis with a random no endin cus im not dead yet but my eyes are getin pretty heavy so ima leave it b

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cant pray

Sumen happen long da way as she grew up for sum strange reason she grew dumb n blind cus once opan a time she saw things clear but as she grew her vision started to fade see the glass she was lookin out of was once clear but sumone jus kept throwin rocks called heartbreak at da window n da glass is jus so cracked she cant see out da window anymore so she continue to look n pretend all is well pretend thers no crack but shes cryin and her vision is blurd cus she cant see threw da tears she try to pretend dey arnt der laf laf laf n jus joke offd da pain as if wasnt eatin her alive "oh no fuk dat ima big girl now" she said she said whats da point of prayin when u feel guilty when u do cus im un worthy of him keep forgivein me when i kw deep dwn ima keep doin it isnt it any wonder i kant be blessed but shes said she love him and she keep a wantin to ask for things but feel she dnt desrve em but mayb she dnt but she shud try praying again i jus dnt wanna b sad again ...i ment she dnt shes tierd of cry

it hurt so good

the pain is startin to fell good to me cud i dare b this awsome wit no flaws at all but i do i dared to love sumone n thought they loved me back but they didnt they love the way i felt on the inside he said he loved me but yet i felt so empty i cried damn near everyday i haue grown so accustemd to the pain i startd to like it or at least think i like i cause pain to myself cus i have no clue on how to b happy ive cried for help from beast n the all mity now what jus enjoy the pain while its last
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