my heart hurt

i anit got no weed so i guess ill write in dis stupid as blog n vent goshlee i hate how im feelin rite now i recently kwit smokein i anit smoked since da nite of my last blog called smoke free but i cud really use a blunt rite now idk y i feel like i need sumbdy im jus so tierd of bein lonley i been tryin to have sex wit a certain dude but he anit havein it n den i be like fuk it n try to do sumbdy else i cant even bring myself to fukin do it its like i cant even sin if i wanted to like im tryna get a blunt n its like sumen want let me get one my ex i recently deleted out my life i think i put dat n my last blog if not here it go i told him i was still in love wit him n i dnt wanna b his friend or buddy he ttlk to every otha mounth man fuk dat he got me to the point were i feel im not good enuf for anybody i dnt got lowself esteem cus im too full of myself but im sho is damn sad as fuk n the weed i been tryna get to wuda took all these bad feelins away n as i write dis i deiscover y my daddy a crack mybe jus maybe he was jus like me always felt pain n the drug came n took it away im sittin here jus 19 dependin on dis drug cus plp keep hurtin me plp keep breakin me dwn i get up n feel great for a while den back dwn i go mannnn damn i got dreams like wtf ima artist ima fashion designer im famous im rich ...welll at least not yet but im sayin i beeen prayin i been prayin i been prayin what do i do nxt this shit crazy all i wanna do is cry i wish i had sumone to lysten i kw i can tlk to god but he wont tlk back sumone of this earth that really gives any kind a fuk about me to make me feel loved ....i jus wanna cry i want sumbdy to hold me n tell me its ok im tierd of physcin myself up jus feel like shit da nxt day i gotta fukin headace n i feel like shit on a stick rite now i honsetly jus wanna die im already dead inside u my say u can be cus u got to much to say well my muthafukin heart hurt can u help me plz cus literly my heart has been feelin like sumbody is squezzein it to death ...