it'll be ok

its weird life sucks right now i dk how to feel n idk how others feel i am talkin shit on dis blog that no one reads once again i cud pray but man i wanna anwser huu what i spose to do im thinkin his feelings for me or fadeing or he jus flat out tierd of me i kno im no fun like i use to be i dnt fuk him like he want me to but damn everythime i have sex i feel guilty cus i dnt wanna go to hell n i cant ask him to stick not haveing sex out wit me untill marriage he not even sure if he wanna marry me any more every sencce dat day wit dat shit hit da fan n erthang change i found myself kissing ass jus so he wont leave me but i did nothing wrong i was jus holding on to anger cus he did me wrong y was it so bad for me to be mad cus of sum bullshit he did to me ughhh love is stupid but i love him i love lookin at him n being wit him n lystening to him freestyle annoying raps its crazy n it makes me laf we litterly sit around n do nothing all day wasteing away our youth cus we have no money nothing we only have each other yea we got our fam but u kno how that go but i been takein care of him n he been takeing care of me sometimes i think we gotta long way to go but i dnt wanna be wasteing mine time n he dont see hisself wit me for eternity maybe day question isnt fair well cud he see his self wit anyone else is a more fair question n my anwser to dat question is no i cant see myself witha anyone else y cus i see myself n him been sayin it sence day one but he dnt see it he jus se his self and then there is me ..me...idk how to feel cus he never make it clear how he feel so i can do is assume n when u assume u make an ass out of me n u duh ok whatever whatelse i jus needa kno that he loves me he thinks im beautiful smart n not jus whatever he think i am i know my worth my older female fam ask me do u think if he was to leave u u cudnt find another man n no i know i can find another man i get niggas erkin me everyday n i can do lil shit to have niggas running to me anyday but i dnt want dem i dnt need them the thing is i want him i feel in love wit him not his dick not he raps or beat i feel in love wit him when he had nothing to something back to nothing im the his woman im his back bone i dnt got no job but i do what i can i give him what he want when he want n in return i want him to accept the fact ima female ima bicth cry n holla when i dnt get my way y cus he get his ok im done for now ill be back i jus wanna bawl up under him n feel protected from the world but do he really want it or do he think oh dis jus for now i can do better yea maybe he can but im the best me n i want him to accept dat accept me for the bipoler lazy hungry clinggy needy crybaby ass girlfriend i am but i will also do anything for him n i mean dat shit