it hurt so good

the pain is startin to fell good to me cud i dare b this awsome wit no flaws at all but i do i dared to love sumone n thought they loved me back but they didnt they love the way i felt on the inside he said he loved me but yet i felt so empty i cried damn near everyday i haue grown so accustemd to the pain i startd to like it or at least think i like i cause pain to myself cus i have no clue on how to b happy ive cried for help from beast n the all mity now what jus enjoy the pain while its last
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Kid Cudi - Don't Play This Song

i am sin

im sin does dat make me a bad person , i smoke weed and i love it i watch porn cus i refuse to have sex does dat make me a bad person , i tell my lil brotha to shut the fuk up does dat make me a bad person ,i kw n say evvery curse word eva made am i a bad person i masterbate uncotrolably am i a bad person i eat jus cus its der does dat make me a bad person i flirt to get what i want i make others feel bad for makein me feel bad does dat make me a bad person i lysten to rock n roll i lysten to country i lysten to rnb n rap does dat make me a bad person lmaooooooooooooooooooo i cheated on him wit him then ended up lovein him then he broke my heart den i likes him but he dnt like me am i a bad person let me know plz let me kw

traped in my mind

i feel safe here but then i start to go crazy cus i cant dare get out this mutha fuka ....to be continued

finally free

i loved him i cried over him he broke my heart i cursed him i hated him but the lord he love me he here my cry he heal my broken heart cus i came to him now that otha guy im able to forgive him but the memory refuse to stay n da abbys of my mind i guess ill rember it as a lesson learnd ......he used and abouse me many times and i allowed him to i loved him more than anything in this wolrd ....my feelins writein n dis blog entry doesnt hurt that much n things arnt flowing out like they usally do i guess becuse i prayed n he took all my anger n hurt away im ok im beautiful ....IM FINALLY FREE .... ....now i can smile and really mean it ....im here to say im gonna now on live a life of c becus i will never make that mistake ever again i will have sumone truly n honestly fall madly inlove wit me cus i know i deserve it n God knows thats all i truly want !!!

my heart hurt

i anit got no weed so i guess ill write in dis stupid as blog n vent goshlee i hate how im feelin rite now i recently kwit smokein i anit smoked since da nite of my last blog called smoke free but i cud really use a blunt rite now idk y i feel like i need sumbdy im jus so tierd of bein lonley i been tryin to have sex wit a certain dude but he anit havein it n den i be like fuk it n try to do sumbdy else i cant even bring myself to fukin do it its like i cant even sin if i wanted to like im tryna get a blunt n its like sumen want let me get one my ex i recently deleted out my life i think i put dat n my last blog if not here it go i told him i was still in love wit him n i dnt wanna b his friend or buddy he ttlk to every otha mounth man fuk dat he got me to the point were i feel im not good enuf for anybody i dnt got lowself esteem cus im too full of myself but im sho is damn sad as fuk n the weed i been tryna get to wuda took all these bad feelins away n as i write dis i deiscover y my daddy a crack mybe jus maybe he was jus like me always felt pain n the drug came n took it away im sittin here jus 19 dependin on dis drug cus plp keep hurtin me plp keep breakin me dwn i get up n feel great for a while den back dwn i go mannnn damn i got dreams like wtf ima artist ima fashion designer im famous im rich ...welll at least not yet but im sayin i beeen prayin i been prayin i been prayin what do i do nxt this shit crazy all i wanna do is cry i wish i had sumone to lysten i kw i can tlk to god but he wont tlk back sumone of this earth that really gives any kind a fuk about me to make me feel loved ....i jus wanna cry i want sumbdy to hold me n tell me its ok im tierd of physcin myself up jus feel like shit da nxt day i gotta fukin headace n i feel like shit on a stick rite now i honsetly jus wanna die im already dead inside u my say u can be cus u got to much to say well my muthafukin heart hurt can u help me plz cus literly my heart has been feelin like sumbody is squezzein it to death ...

smoke free

so im at skool now done fuked up n wlked out damn near cused out my teacher on dat sleepy shit cus a nigga was high so im tryna kwit for many reasons n dis one ben one more im not tryna look old im too damn full of my self for dat n da worse thing is dat i jus use dudes dat use me for their weed im jus glad im da smart one out of the dudes i take weed from cus i get what i want which is weed n dey neva get what dey want cus i keep me a good excuse..sex is what dey want but im not wit dat shit n im so ova dis shit im dealin wit dats y im bout to kwit ....ight im out bout to go back to class i guess jus had to tlk to sumbdy who cares ....anybody dat read dis damn blog...